Friday, January 30, 2009

Step children

I am/was a step child. My step dad passed away quite some time ago. I remember one day when I was a young girl about 9 years old. My step dad got a visit from a friend he hadn’t seen in a long time. As this friend was about to leave, he turned to me and said, “You better get on your knees and thank this man for taking you in, most men won’t take in other men’s bas***d’s.”
I was often referred to as “one of her brats”.
I never heard or saw that in other families. I have witnessed families where step children are blended in so seamlessly; the outside world would not know who was biological and who was not. So it surprised me to grow up and notice the negative things people still do to step children. Saying things like, “You’re just a step kid so you don’t really count.” Or taking actions such as removing step children from pictures because they “aren’t part of the blood line.”
I wonder if God sees it that way. From what I read in the Bible, we are all His children. We are all welcome in His house. We all have a seat at His table. I wonder if Joseph ever said to Jesus, “you don’t count because you’re just a step child.”
Mother Theresa said, “The worst hunger is for love. The worst sickness is feeling that no one wants you.”
In a day when gangs are prevalent, when kids need love and guidance more than ever, how can we look at any child and say, “you don’t belong.”


  • At February 13, 2009 at 11:45 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    So what did your dad say in response to his friends comments?

  • At February 14, 2009 at 8:03 AM , Blogger community said...

    My stepdad said nothing. Times were different back then. But shortly before he died, he introduced me as 'his daughter' to people in his hospital room. It's hard to describe how that introduction erased years of feeling 'less than'. I don't want to dwell on what was, more importantly, I want to know what can we change.


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